Help! Where should I go?

So I am planning a 2-3 month holiday next year and I have the following potential schedules. Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Am I crazy? Are these feasible? etc.

Note that I have to visit New York City between April 28 - May 15 cos Anna will be there. this complicates things but is essential. cos Anna will be there.

To help you help me...

Tourism I like:

• nature, big impressive nature. i like cities but quickly get bored and don't go out much.
• food. new food, yummy food, vege food.
• swimming and horse riding.
• walking. not crazy hiking mind you. a little casual hiking. but mostly walking.
• reading my book in picturesque settings or nice cafes.
• obscure museums about weird little topics.
• camping.
  

Tourism I don't like:

• youth hostels full of drunk Americans / Australians / Brits.
  
• I know this is a generalisation but I am way more of a museum person than an art gallery person. just am.
• extreme heat. would rather snow.

With that in mind I give you...

Option 1:
apr 2 - 6: vancouver
apr 6 - 22: canada, various, def Alberta with side trip to Edmonton to see Bridgit
apr 23 - 26 washington dc
apr 27 - may 6: new york city
may 7 - 22: mexico
may 23 - 24: road trip to...
may 24 - 30: grand canyon and las vegas
may 31 - june 2: road trip to...
june 3 - 7: yosemite national park
june 8 - 14: san francisco june
15 - 17: LA

Option 2:
april 1 - 15: mexico
april 16 - 23: cuba
april 24 - 30: jamaica
may 1 - 12: NYC
may 12 - 16: Washington D.C
may 17 - 22: las vegas and grand canyon
may 23 - 25: road trip to...
may 26 - 30: yosemite national park
may 31 - june 7: san francisco
june 8 - 9: L.A

Option 3:
april 1 - 14: mexico
april 15 - 26: central america (guatemala? belize? costa rica? el salvador? nicaragua?)
april 27 - may 3: cuba
may 4 - 15: NYC
may 16 - 19: Washington D.C
may 20 - 26: las vegas and grand canyon
may 27 - 29: road trip to...
may 30 - june 2: yosemite national park
june 3 - 9: san francisco
june 10 - 11: L.A

Option 4:
april 1 - 6: san francisco
april 7 - 10: yosemite national park
april 11 - 13: road trip to...
april 14 - 19: las vegas and grand canyon
april 20 - 21: transit
april 22 - may 5: mexico
may 6 - 15: NYC
may 16 - 20: washington DC
may 21 - june ?: canada

ARGH. am going mad from excessive unproductive planning. someone do it for me. WAH.

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