Thursday, 29 October 2009

and i think to myself what a disappointing world

Fuck I hate mobile phone companies. This is why:

A few months ago my 2 yr old phone was dying a slow and horrible death. What had been a great phone (functionality wise) was rapidly losing the ability to stay on, battery dropping out every few hours.

As if by magic, a lady from 3mobile called and told me I could get a new phone if I renewed my contract. Please note: I knew this was not magic. I knew she had called at that time because:
a) my phone had been built to break after approx. 2 years, in line with contract length; and
b) by calling me a few months before my contract was due to end I would be pleasantly suprised and not question why I was getting a new phone earlier than expected

I was clever though and I refused to choose a phone right there and then. She'll rip me off, I thought. I'll go into the shop and pick one myself. The nice man assured me my sensible, sturdy, economic, simple phone was going to be a good one (of course the LG phone I loved had been discontinued as everyone wants freakin' touchscreens now not flip phones).

I secured new phone and new plan only to since discover the following:
1. new phone is shit. it takes an age to start up again after being placed on the charger. it takes an age to perform any simple task. nothing is straightforward. i can't do the simplest of things. it is shit.
2. if i had waited mere weeks i could have gotten an iphone on my plan.

That's right folks. bitch at 3 was palming off the old phones so that less people would get iphones.

I have been mad about this for some time, but, as I have an aversion to touchscreens and fads I thought I'd just plod along with my shitty nokia. Until I got a bill in which I had gone $100 over my plan.


Ever the optimist, I trotted along to the 3 shop today. Am old fashioned. Believe in customer service. You know, the man actually smirked at me, almost laughed out loud, when I told him what had happened. I asked - if I upgrade to a higher rate plan, can I have an iphone?

Oh no, that'll be $35 a month extra thankyouverymuch. On top of the new, higher cost plan.

How can they? How can they build these things to break and manipulate us so severely? Why don't people want to create quality merchandise and develop quality relationships with customers? As the world dies under a heap of rubbish and the bigwigs trip over themselves to claim they are green, no one is pointing out (or dare I say it legislating against) this absolute waste of resources, time and money.


When I actually think about this rip off and about how helpless I am to do anything about it, I feel like crying. Clothes, computers, appliances: all built to break. Why is no one (well no one prominent and powerful) saying that this fundamental principal is killing the earth and causing mental breakdowns in young and normally happy-go-lucky public servants like myself?

I left the shop not knowing how to solve the problem. I need a good phone. I am an obsessive communicator and, in today's society, the phone is an essential tool. But I don't want to pay them an extra $50 a month. And I don't want an iphone that will just break in two years. I want to leave 3 but I'd have to pay out my contract and all the other companies are the same anyway.

Why hasn't a phone company stood up and offered something different? Phones that don't break? Personalised service? An honest approach?

I left the shop and went off to iku in search of a soul reparing vegan lunch. Mmmm mushroom, thyme and leek pie I thought and purchased happily.

So many lima beans I could barely taste the mushroom. I saw no leek. I tasted no thyme. It was fucking lima bean pie. Do you know what I don't like?



Also on my list this week:
- 90 page strategy documents
- backing tracks that do not match the original
- people that think they know better than I do about my personal life
- rooms that do not tidy themselves


Thursday, 22 October 2009


I really hate housework. Today I have considered all of the following as methods for avoiding putting clean sheets* onto bed.

* Note that I have managed to take dirty sheets off bed and put in washing machine. I don't hate laundry so much, as a machine has kindly been invented to do all the work. And I have now bought one of these machines. Joy.

Avoidance options include:

1. Sleep on couch

2. Pay a friend $20 to do it for me (any takers?)

3. Go out every night and find a random to take me home so I don't have to sleep in own bed (unfortunately this clashes with my new celibacy resolution...but that's a different story)

4. Proposition someone flirtatiously in the hopes that they'll help me

5. Move in with a girlfriend (after having asked someone to be my girlfriend) so that she has to do it (girlfriends who live together don't have sex anyway, so this one is in line with celibacy resolution)

6. Sleep on bed without sheets

7. Use a sleeping bag

8. Rent a hotel room

9. Break my own arm so friend / parent / sibling / nurse has to come and do it for me

10. Go on internet dating site and find someone who gets off on doing chores for other people


Monday, 19 October 2009

blog. i does one.

I was asked this evening when I would blog again and I realised I haven't written here in a while (for facebook people: what you read is from my actual blog on bloggy website...which is of course the same as what you see on facebook except with colours and fonts I choose...but I digress).

I go through phases of having enough of the following to rant in written form:
1. confidence
2. time
3. presence of significant irritation in life to complain about
4. solitude
5. energy

Lately I have not really had the above in remotely generous enough servings, thus silence. I have started blogs but had neither time, confidence or inclination to complete them.

Topics have included:
- a list of criteria for my ideal wife
- musings about women, drawing on references to the West Wing. This blog was a little self-indulgent and wanky so is languishing in drafts
- a musing about the advantages of bus travel over train. now out of date as was staying in clovelly at the time
- recount of dream in which i had a seizure on a staircase at an Indian cooking school and Anna had to hold my head so it didn't smash
- spiel about my relationship to food and its social / creative / sensual / artistic / scientific joys

Oh world, see what fascinating and essential insights you have missed due to my:
a) disinterest and disbelief in own writing capabilities
b) business
c) contentment
d) constant company
e) exhaustion

I like lists.



The Blurb

For maevegobash: yeah, I just like thinking/writing/talking about myself. That's what blogs are for, right? For vegepalooza: I have been vegetarian for 25 years now - so that's always for me. My mothers cooked a storm up in the kitchen and I am carrying the torch filling my friends bellies at every opportunity. I love food and want to share my recipes, tips and tricks here to encourage creative vegetarian eating. There will also be a lot of vegan recipes for my friends with more willpower than me (sorry kids, I just love the cheese). Anyway enjoy, feel free to criticise and most of all Happy Eating!