Sunday, 31 May 2009

lazy me letting someone else blog about gay marriage

i was going to write down my opinions on gay marriage, but this person did it for me:


work choices

i should like to have an office affair one day. it strikes me as something one should do at some point. unfortunately, i don't tend to work in places overrun with hot, young, single lesbians. yes, there have been a number of lesbians, but none of the single + in my age range. i may need to seek work in hospitality. which would defeat the purpose as cafes do not have elevators.

i am aware this is a cliche.

i am aware these things tend to lead to disaster.

but my life needs
more cliche, yes more i say.


Thursday, 21 May 2009

my mates clare and matty

You know I didn't want to write about the recent explosion of football/rape/feminism/consent/other-relevant-key-words madness. I thought that, firstly, most of my friends and readers would agree with me (so I'd be preaching to the converted) and secondly, that many wonderful people had expressed similar views more eloquently than I.

However, I have noticed recently that a few of my faceborg friends have joined "I Support Matthew Johns" groups and the foul taste that fact left in my mouth has spurred a rant.

You see, I am going to go out and say that I am not that interested in this particular case. Whether or not "Clare" gave consent, whether or not the people who play whatever sport they play thought she gave all this I say whatever.

Because, you see, I think a big problem in the media attention this has received is the individualising and emotive reportage. We join groups supporting "Matthew" or "Clare" as if these people are our family members and require our love and attention. Debate rages as to his/their and her intentions and feelings and so on as if this is the only time ever that men and women have engaged in a sex act with unclear consent or committed acts that the general public consider morally problematic (e.g. group sex, infidelity). As if by knowing exactly what went on that night and why, we'll KNOW how to fix all of societies "gender problems."

So, in light of all the to-ing and fro-ing about these particular individuals, I am just going to go out and make some sweeping generalisations that I believe to always be true! Most of what I say is directed at the idiots who thought it appropriate to join groups supporting men who would invite their mates back to their room to fuck their date, but there are some truths in there for the 'feminists' who make problematic assumptions of their own!

The following statements have nothing to do with what happened in Christchurch, they are in no particular order, and I have made them into a list because I hope it will make me concise:

1. Police do not have to charge a person with rape in order for it to have been rape. Police make mistakes. People can be afraid to speak out. Money and fame are powerful. Our justice system is severely flawed. As is New Zealand's I imagine.
2. Rape is not the only unethical sex act a perpetrator can perform. Just because something wasn't rape doesn't mean it wasn't wrong or harmful.
3. Sex and Consent are never the responsibility of only one party. It is the responsibility of BOTH parties to negotiate sex.
4. Some women enjoy and consent to group sex, submission and other sex practices YOU may not agree with or find hot. This does not make them a helpless victim or a whore (incidently, there is nothing wrong with being a whore so stop using it as an insult).
5. Consenting to sex acts does not mean merely allowing them to happen or even saying "yes" when they are suggested. It means agreeing to do them with someone you trust or feel confident to stand up to. If you feel uncomfortable during or after the fact and don't feel like you can speak out, you are not consenting.
6. Not only footballers treat women like objects. In fact I wouldn't be suprised if the percentage of footballers who do is equal to the percentage of the general population. This is a whole-society-problem, not an elite-sports-problem.
7. Supporting a victim does not mean that you do not feel for the family of the perpetrator.
8. Enjoying group sex does not make you gay. Being gay makes you gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay.
9. People who have experienced trauma should not be believed / disbelieved based on at what point they spoke out / how they spoke out. Sometimes victims of abuse takes years to talk about it. Sometimes they talk about it jokingly or boastingly to cope. Sometimes they never talk about it.
10. YOU are never an expert on another person's life, experiences and sexuality. Discuss society, discuss sexuality, discuss notions of fame and power, ideas about masculinity and femininity, sexism and feminism - discuss them as much as you can because they are important and understanding them is essential. DO NOT TALK SHIT ABOUT INDIVIDUALS AS IF YOU KNOW THEM WHEN YOU DON'T.

and if you are going to write about things please, god, please learn some basic grammar and spelling*

* not intended to be racist or ableist. am referring to people who think "da" is an appropriate replacement for "the"and "l8er" is an appropriate replacement for "later." It hurts my eyes and brain and heart.

The End.

p.s. this is, alack, neither eloquent nor as well expressed as it should be. rage and bewilderment do that to a girl.


Monday, 18 May 2009

whatever trevor

I have been feeling oddly detached and disinterested in human company this past week. Has someone invented Post Menstrual Stress yet?

Yesterday after soccer I hit the pub and was characteristically socially inappropriate for a few beers and a wolfed down shared fried rice. I felt unsettled, as I did on Saturday and indeed Friday when I cancelled social engagements to watch Frost/Nixon (pleasing) and then grumpily sleeeeeep.

All I wanted to do was get into bed last night and watch the Grey's Anatomy final which I downloaded with ma new technical skillz. But Grey's was DECIDEDLY unsettling as well. Stupid television, failing to warm my heart and threatening to kill off two characters. We do NOT kill two characters at a time, we only kill ONE. Stupid television. Letting me down.

So it is Monday and I guessed it...unsettled! And jealous of friends who are travelling and cruely posting photos, like I used to.

I am meant to go to physio re knees, but don't feel like spending $80 to hear that:
a) I have harmed them in some way
b) I should lose weight (duh)
c) I need to do exercises or start pilates (bloody exercise is what's harmed them in the first place)
d) I will need further expensive appointments


Friday, 15 May 2009

everything is breaking

My body is falling to bits, with sore soccer knees and flu sneezes and such. At what point did this body become an object I couldn't control, a piece of flesh that snaps and stretches in the wrong direction, that starts to hurt on a Thursday for no good reason since i haven't even been to work that day (flu!).

The one part I can control and do is my over-styled, too-regularly-trimmed hair. Fuck I love doing my hair. it's up for the chop in 43 minutes and I'm ever so excited.

I turned down a phsyio appointment I could have had at 1.30pm for my hair appointment at 2pm and I think that shows that my personality is still in tact and I still value vanity over ability to play sports.

stupid sports. breaking my body.

Why doesn't this body break in a repetitive, dependable, expected way? A few years ago a terribly sore lower back (brought on by body shop shifts and long nights of dancing) was treated with pilates and a shift in posture. Now the knees give way.

Actually i think it's a leftover injury from a chair lift incident some years back...the last time i engaged in sports... i'm sensing a conspiracy...

So anyway, I'm off to fix the one part of my body that seems to improve with age. For the rest I'm hoping that my new favourite show Dollhouse* becomes a reality and I can body swap. Ideally with Olivia Williams, my new celebrity crush (I say crush, but I mean passionate conviction that she is The One). Then we could be together foreva.

That said, if I was Olivia Williams I would have to have beautiful long hair like hers that curls and cascades around her british charm in just the right way. It wouldn't need such regular cutting and styling and what would I have to look forward to on a friday afternoon?

oh Olivia.

This blog has not been edited and has no literary merit i think.

* I think that Dollhouse, Joss Whedon's latest offering is not actually a good show. It's possible it's quite bad. But sometimes, just sometimes, strains of Buffy come through in dialogue or character or a particular fight scene (or in the huge number of recycled actors) and I think I am watching new Buffy and it's like a long lost lover has come back from the dead and is whispering sweet nothings in my ear. For that reason, as well as a recent bout of the flu, I have been addictively watching Dollhouse and am convinced Olivia Williams and I are destined to make love.

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Too Much Information.

My sister really wants the best for me. That's why she likes to impart charming little criticisms every now and then to encourage my personal improvement, to ensure I am the best that I can be.

One of her latest crusades has been this blog. You see, apparently, I was much funnier and more interesting when I was overseas. Now I am actually entirely in agreement with her on that one, however her other gripe is that I am far too open, that I give too much information.

("No one wants to KNOW when you have you period Maeve.")

So, in honour of my dearest littlest sibling, I would like to share with you all the things you did not want to know about me. Cringe on, little sister! I have no sense of privacy and can't see that changing any time in the near future.

1. I smell my clothes (yes all my clothes) to see if they need washing.

2. I am very content on the toilet. I like how relaxed one can be. I sometimes have a little nap.

3. If we are friends, I have thought about what it would be like to have sex with you.

4. I have also probably talked to you while on the toilet. I do not understand why this is a problem.

5. I really like squeezing pimples and blackheads and sometimes I daydream about having a really hideous skin disease that I could squeeze and pick to my heart's content. I hope I never DO get a skin disease cos there would be scarring.

6. I ate beetroot last night and my poo was purple this morning and I wondered whether the friend I fed beetroot to for dinner also had purple poo but I didn't ask her.

7. I bite my hands. Not just nails, but cuticles, tops of fingers, and knuckles - both sides. I have tried to stop many, many times, but I can't relax in social situations unless I am biting them. Which is crap, cos I look entirely un-relaxed when doing so.

8. I pick my nose. In private. Well, mostly in private.

9. I like eating food with my hands. In private. Well, mostly in private.

10. Once my friend Anastasia and I decided after drinking a little too much of the cooking wine that the secret ingredient in our cooking was our own saliva (cos we tasted-tested everything and double-dipped). We then spat in the meal we were making for our friends.

Monday, 4 May 2009

living in a material world

I didn't let myself buy pretty things on return from o/s having just spent a small car on travel.
But lately, I've found myself moseying into clothing outlets seeking little treats. I have bought a few new items and, time having passed since I last allowed myself guilt-free shopping pleasure, these items have brought me capital-J Joy. They are:

- 6 ties in various colours and patterns, all describable as 'grandpa,' $1.50 each, purchased on my day off when walking home through Petersham
- a Bananas in Pyjamas blue striped shirt that is big enough to be worn as a dress, were I that kind of trendy
- a navy vest
- a black and grey checked vest that cost more than three times the sum total of the above items, purchased from the same place I bought my favourite grey hoodie, an item which I bought in exactly the same way - wandered in while waiting for a movie to start, wandered out with new clothing item.

I want:
- new work pants. I wear the same pair every day. Time to hit up, dare I say it, Country Road.

The first time I tied a girl up, I used a Country Road scarf


The Blurb

For maevegobash: yeah, I just like thinking/writing/talking about myself. That's what blogs are for, right? For vegepalooza: I have been vegetarian for 25 years now - so that's always for me. My mothers cooked a storm up in the kitchen and I am carrying the torch filling my friends bellies at every opportunity. I love food and want to share my recipes, tips and tricks here to encourage creative vegetarian eating. There will also be a lot of vegan recipes for my friends with more willpower than me (sorry kids, I just love the cheese). Anyway enjoy, feel free to criticise and most of all Happy Eating!