Why all these cheap airline companies suck balls

Ok, so the internet and the airports are now packed to the gills with cheap cheap cheap airlines travelling all over Europe. Super, right? NOT SO. They get your money other ways, yes yes they do. The first is in the ridiculously over priced ticket that gets you to the random, tiny, middle-of-nowhere airport you are flying from. The second, and my most hated, is in their luggage restrictions. In this matter, it has been out and out war between me and the airlines...war I tells ya. (Note here that I have mostly been victorious, only paying excess once!)

Some companies will get you to pay online for 1 checked in bag of 20kg. Turn up with any extra weight and you will pay at least $10 per kilo. Per Kilo! This has led to me hunched in a corner of the check in, hauling out luggage, putting on heavy shoes in the middle of Spanish summer, clipping plastic bags with shoes to my little backpack, wearing 3 jackets etc... (actually when the security guard said "Please take off your...3 jackets..." it was pretty funny)

Some companies then proudly advertise that there is no weight restriction on hand luggage. Awesome. They are basically encouraging people to break their backs by putting all their heavy stuff in their carry on. Maybe it's just me, but surely it would be more efficient to put more stuff below than spend half an hour wrestling with other passengers to try and get your bag into the overhead compartment with their massive case full of what appear to be lead weights! Not to mention the fact that if we get turbulence (movie style turbulence) and the overheads open I would not want all my books, my boots, my sleeping bag, my towel, 3 jackets, and 3 glass bottles of vitamins FALLING ON MY HEAD!

On my last flight (London to Prague), I thought I'd finally got it together, leaving a bag of stuff at a friend's house and practically bouncing off to Luton Airport (4th of London's four airports that I've now been to). I proudly placed my 19.8kg suitcase on the conveyor and skipped off to security. And then it happened. The smarmy British wench over the loudspeaker said:

"Please remember that you are only allowed one piece of hand luggage. If you come to security with more than one piece of hand luggage you will be sent back to check in..." (that's alright, I thought, they always let you have a small handbag...) "...Please note that laptop bags and handbags count as one piece."

BITCH!

Cue me spending the next 10 minutes wrestling the contents of my handbag into my already full little backpack, eating my apple (which was going to be my aeroplane dinner since they don't give you those anymore), shoving things in my pockets and then strapping my rolled up canvas handbag to the side of my backpack. I considered shoving stuff down my pants but was glad I had not when I was subject to a pat down later on.

The thing is, that all of this hoo ha at airports today does jack for security. So far I have twice forgotten to take my little clear bag of liquids-in-less-than-100ml-bottles out before passing security and no one has noticed. I have carried a nail file through three times and nail scissors twice. But they make me drain my water bottle before entering so that I am busting throughout take off. It is ridiculous.

Fuckers.